Creating Your Own Success in an Unfair World.
I learned very early on in childhood that life is not fair; when all my friends would get pocket money and I didn’t, when my friends were allowed to watch movies that I wasn’t, when my friends were allowed to do everything that I wasn’t, resulting in my getting kicked out of home at 15 years old for basically being a rebellious teenager and refusing to conform to stupid rules. Before you start feeling sorry for me though, know that I had the BEST teenage life EVER. But not because I whinged about it, because I accepted my situation as it was and did something to change it.
My parents main issue was that they didn’t believe I could have a job and a social life and still do well at school. I beyond believed in myself, and if someone tells me I can’t, I thank them for giving me my #1 ambition in life… proving them wrong. I worked at the local supermarket getting paid $7 an hour to support myself. My rent was $30/week to live in basically a shoe box of a room that my single bed just fit in and I had to climb on it to get to my clothes rack. I never missed a day of school. I would look at my timetable and if I saw I had classes that I knew we were just working out of a textbook, or like PE etc., I would fake illness and go to sick bay for blocks of classes and not only get all my work done for that class, but all my homework for the week and work on my assignments distraction free of changing classes every 40 minutes. This meant that I didn’t ever have much work to do outside of school, so I could work my job during the week and party all weekend. Some thought I was a little wild, I thought I had great time management, was smarter than the average conformist and was just living life to the full. Just for the record, I graduated in the top 5% of the state and with savings in the bank.
And there my will to succeed and find happiness regardless of my situation was established.
Something that aggravates me to my core is when people use sexism, age, being too tall/short/awkward/fat/ugly, too poor, or any other kind of inequality treatment as an excuse for why they are not where they want to be in life. Don’t take this the wrong way and think that I find being overlooked or mistreated for those things acceptable or that they are not issues, but you can make an issue out of anything and life is not fair. I repeat, LIFE IS NOT FAIR. It will never be fair. And the first step to success and happiness is accepting the situation as it is and then coming up with a game plan that takes this into account and still gets you there.
I could whinge about the fact that I’m a woman and so I’ll never be able to make as much money in boxing as my male friends. I could give up on my dream and forever blame the world for “what I could’ve been” if the world was more fair. Or, I can accept the situation as it is, try to be smarter than the average person, make the best of it and still kill it anyway. Maybe I need to work a little harder or make more sacrifices but if I’m happy living my dream, a world champion and am rolling in more money than I can even spend then WHO CARES if a bunch of guys made more money than me. I have enough. Why do I need to get salty about someone else having more?
Too many people thinking they can change the world by sitting around complaining about it. I hope you can, but my life experience says you won’t. That’s not to say you shouldn’t make individual effort. I believe in leading by example. Treat people the way you want to be treated, even if they don’t reciprocate. If you’re not paying top dollar shopping at your local family owned business, don’t whinge that large corporations are taking over the world. If you only date people you are attracted to, don’t whinge about unsightly or overweight people not being able to get jobs. If you don’t walk around the streets at night finding homeless people to offer your home to, don’t whinge about the world not caring about homeless people.
There are always options for people who are willing to find them. I’m not saying it’s easy or obvious, but it’s never impossible. Some of us are far luckier than others. Some of us need to take far more risk than others. But never think you can’t succeed in life because of life not being fair. Go get it xx